Boundaries with your kids: A paradox?
Updated: Aug 1, 2020
Before I was even married I worked with kids all the time. I had some idea of what went into teaching, hanging out with and loving those little sweet beasts. And through generalization knew it would be harder to be a parent- but could it be that hard?
Yes. Yes it is.
Now as a busy mom with a 3 year old and a 9 month old I look back at that sweet summer child I was and am sure I made some mistakes with the parents I worked with back then.
As I have grown in this area I became aware of how enmeshed I was with the identity of being a mom. How the woman Mallory seemed to no longer exist and combat the daily struggle between the Me vs the Mom.
Don't get me wrong. This is still something I have to constantly work at. Everyday. But the idea that seemed to produce the most headway was the idea of boundaries.
At first the idea of being selfish comes up. Even the idea of missing out. Shame, fear, anger, the usual suspects of something that probably needs a deeper dive. When creating boundaries you are likely to make someone uncomfortable or upset, especially if they don't understand or can't be rationalized with. But once things are more established the work is SO worth it. Boundaries are the bridge between the you and the parent you. Let that sink in. You can visit that other you!
Now everyone is getting some form of boundaries. Work, friends, co-workers, my husband, my family. Boundaries for EVERYONE! and I so, so love it.
I can't wait to hear from you on your boundaries!